Posted by: jonespt | March 19, 2008

Attempting the impossible

Ok, my last blog was a little serious, so I need to lighten the mood with some lighter reflections.

I was changing my baby girl’s diaper and preparing to but her sunday clothes on when I realized how crazy-difficult this task before me was.  I mean, this has to be harder than pretty much anything else.  I think I’d rather attempt brain surgery b/c at least the brain would at least stay still for me.  Changing a “lively” (and that’s putting it mildly) baby’s diaper and have the baby look somewhat decent and up to the mother’s standards by the end of this marathon is near impossible.  You have to deal with curious little hands searching for anything and everything within reach, and I hate to say, these hands usually stumble upon some form of excrement in which you hope it doesn’t end up on the wall.  You also have to make several life-saving dives as the baby attempts to roll or crawl or jump off the changing table to escape the current restrains they find themselves in.  And then after you have successfully overcome these trials, there is sweat beading on your forehead, your pulse is 137, the baby is frantically crying, and you have still have to fit 8 baby-sized buttons into 8 baby-sized holes.  Of course this takes several trials b/c inevitably button 3 is in hole 6 and the shirt/onesy/dress outfit isn’t fitting right.  Finally, when you realize the baby needs socks and you reach to grab the lacey stocky things your wife set aside, you find that it’s actually a tights-type thing that should’ve gone on first, so a curse word comes out, which the baby then repeats the entire time your undressing and then redressing her.  And you think to yourself, “Wow, fatherhood is filled with the most precious moments ever, just like this one!”
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