Posted by: jonespt | July 23, 2008

Pure worship

I was at a disciple now (it’s a Baptist thing for those who don’t know; I didn’t know what what it was until I went to a Baptist college) in college when God blessed me with the experiencing of watching pure worship.  It was the last night and the high school youth group was having a talent show where the kids could sing songs, play a musical instrument, etc.  Everyone who participated was doing a great job and I was just sitting their with my crazy and hyped-up 9th grade boys when this girl walked onto the stage as the next performer.  Now I recognized this girl immediately b/c she had stood out to me throughout the weekend as being someone with hardly any friends who looked a little awkward, acted a little strangely, and just didn’t really “fit” into the “in” crowd.  So of course my first thoughts (being the idiot that I am) were, “oh no girl, don’t do it, you’re going to commit social suicide and just give more ammo to these teenagers to make fun of you.”

And well, she then started signing and it only confirmed my first thoughts even more.  She didn’t have a good voice at all, and she just looked awkward up there.  However, as this young girl continued to sing, I began to notice something amazing.  This girl was worshiping!  She wasn’t up there to look cool (like the 11th grade boy rock band full of the “cool” guys who were on before her).  She wasn’t up there to impress us with her voice or try to earn some cool points, she was up there b/c she had a performance to offer to the only member of the audience who was worthy of it, God.  As the song picked up, she began raising her voice, closing her eyes, and swaying back and forth as she sung her heart out before God.  I wish I could remember the words to the song b/c they were along the theme of “God is bigger than.”  And the more she sang, the more embarrassed I felt b/c I was suppose to be the “leader” and the mature one who knows God more deeply than the kids, but I realized that her God was bigger than mine.  The God she was worshiping was awesome and cared about her heart but the God I was trying to impress was more concerned about the external appearance and if it was cool.  I soon realized that “her” God was the real one and that He must be loving it.  I just imagined Him up there in Heaven, closing His eyes, swaying back and forth to His child’s voice, and just soaking up every awesome minute of this pure expression of worship taking place.

This touched my heart so much that as the song was coming to a close, I started to cry a little b/c it was so beautiful and so unfettered and completely untainted with wrong motives and selfish intent; I just was moved so much that I was able to witness this worship and this experience has never left me since.  And for those who’ve read an earlier blog entry of mine about being a safe christian, this is an example to me of that – not holding back and worrying about the christians in the room who may be judging her or worrying about fitting in to the mold, she just knew God and responded with pure worship.  Oh how I long to sing to and experience the God that this young teenage, awkward looking girl knows and then be able to worship Him in the same way.

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